sherlock's christmas
by mustachesRawesome
Summary: (this is my first published story of anything, its a oneshot but i might add to it if people want..) Sherlock doesn't like Christmas and he has his reasons and John finds out...


**Sherlock doesn't like Christmas and John knows this. However, he puts a reason to it that is false. He thinks Sherlock doesn't like Christmas because it's a 'tedious holiday' but to be fair Sherlock had told John that and he wasn't going to take it back. But it was wrong. Sherlock didn't like Christmas for reasons. Reasons he didn't want to talk about. He would probably tell John if it came round to it but he doubted John would press him into anything… much. All Sherlock knew was that if there was anyone who he could tell, it would be John.**

"Sherlock, stop being a scrooge and get your lazy arse out here now, we have to decorate before tonight. Mrs Hudson invited everyone around again!" John shouted through, all Sherlock wanted was to sleep through today, just to not exist for one day would be a good thing. He felt slightly ill at the thought of Christmas, he always did and he had good reasons to. But nevertheless, he got up and went out of the room still in his pyjamas, for John. "Sherlock, you're not dressed. Why? It's one o'clock. "

"I was asleep, John." Sherlock said picking up a wreath and hanging it on the door.

"What? Until one o'clock? Sherlock are you ill? I mean you went to bed at like eight last night."

"No John, I am not ill. Have you never wanted to sleep all day?"

"Yes, when I was a student but I grew out of it. Are you really sure you're not ill… you look pretty out of it."

"John, I've just woken up. I'm fine."

"Okay… I just need you to hang the garlands for me… I can't reach and we don't have a ladder, I've already made them." That was when Sherlock really looked at the room. John had put a Christmas tree up and decorated it and there was decorated garlands lying on the floor that were to go around the ceiling of the flat. Sherlock nodded and hung them up.

When Sherlock had finished hanging them up he stepped back and looked at everything, the sight made him want to cry. He hadn't decorated for Christmas since he was sixteen and again, for reasons. John had put lights in the garlands and the Christmas tree. There was a crib and some angels. The tree was decorated beautifully and the fire was ablaze. The whole room had a warm glow to it and Sherlock liked it even though he did want to cry.

John came in the room with two mugs of hot-chocolate and passed one to Sherlock.

"Thank you." Sherlock said taking it. He drank it without putting it down once.

"Sherlock, John!" Mrs Hudson called.

"Yes Mrs Hudson?" Sherlock asked with a frown.

"I invited those two that keep coming round with Greg, those ones you call Anderson and Donovan, so we have Greg, Molly, Donovan, Anderson, Mycroft, me, you and John."

"Mycroft's not coming; he's away at a conference meeting in Japan." Sherlock answered running a hand through his hair.

"Okay, well then. At least you two won't be arguing. Cheer up Sherlock, you're acting like scrooge. Go and get dressed I expect they'll be arriving soon." Mrs Hudson said before leaving to get the mince pies out of the oven.

soon everyone was there. Mrs Hudson, Sherlock, John, Lestrade, Anderson, Donovan and Molly. They were all talking. Sherlock noticed Molly was wearing a really expensive dress, possibly new or possibly bought a while ago and she'd been saving it for a special day... He saw John and his new jumper, he looked cuddly but well he wasn't about to say that. Anderson was wearing a suit which complemented him greatly. Donovan was wearing a long black shiny dress.

they were all talking about random things when Donovan noticed Sherlock not joining in with the conversation.

"Sherlock, come on. It's Christmas Eve. Join in. We should play truth or dare." She said looking at everyone.

'Clearly drunk' sherlock thought but then realised how nice it was to have her use his name. "Alright." This made her and molly giggle. They all sat on the floor.

Mrs Hudson had left some time ago because Mrs Turner down the road had asked her to go round.

"Okay, spin the bottle Anderson." Lestrade said. Anderson spun it, it landed on Molly.

"Truth or dare?" Anderson asked.

"Dare." Molly said giggling.

"Kiss Sherlock." Donovan practically shouted. Sherlock's eyes went wide. Donovan calmed down laughing then said it slowly. "I dare you, to kiss Sherlock on the lips" she started laughing.

Sherlock looked at Molly, slightly scared but none of them noticed because they were mostly drunk apart from John but he had gone to get some biscuits from the kitchen. Molly pushed her lips into Sherlock's, Sherlock didn't know what to do so he stayed still for a couple of seconds until Molly pulled away laughing. Everyone was laughing even John (when he got into the room) while sherlock was sat there, frozen into place until the bottle landed on John.

"Truth or dare?" Anderson asked.

"Truth." John said

Lestrade answered. "We all know you were in the army, but, did you have a rank and why were you sent home?"

Johns face fell but he answered them "I was a captain and I got shot."

"No-no. Wait. I got a better truth!" Donovan said and they all looked at her. "Are you gay or straight?" She asked giggling which set molly off.

"Erm…" John went red. "Neither... I'm Bi" he started giggling too and everyone was again, giggling. Sherlock still sat in silence. He had other things on his mind... A few more turns and it landed on him.

"Truth or dare, Sherlock?" Anderson asked.

After realising he couldn't be arsed to do a dare he said "truth." He heard them murmuring about having two possible questions. "I can answer two if you want." He said they all looked up and Molly started giggling.

"Okay, first of all me and Anderson want to know if we actually 'hurt your feelings' when we call you freak because of something John said." Donovan asked.

"Well, erm... Truthfully... Yes. Yes your remarks hurt me."

"Sorry Sherlock." Anderson said then Donovan repeated.

"It's alright. What's the second question?"

Lestrade spoke up. "We thought we'd ask this question because well we're interested in young Sherlock Holmes..."

"Let's just ask the question." Molly said rolling her eyes making Donovan giggle.

John spoke up. "We want you to tell us about your first kiss with details about the person kissing you." John smirked.

Sherlock bit his lip and breathed in and out deeply. "Okay, so she was pretty, wearing a short red dress, she had lipstick on and a little bit of blusher on. She had mascara on. I wasn't attracted to her the kiss lasted a few seconds and I just stayed still as a stone."

"Wait! If you weren't attracted to her, why did she kiss you?" Donovan asked.  
Sherlock reddened. "It was a dare." He looked to the floor.

No one understood for a couple of minutes until Molly gasped; "it was me?! I was your first kiss?" Her eyes wide with shock. Sherlock could feel everyone staring holes into him.

"Sherlock?" Anderson asked sounding concerned.

"Was Molly really your first kiss?" Lestrade asked. Everyone else stayed silent Sherlock had squeezed his eyes closed so tightly that he could see stars. He felt an arm on his shoulders. He didn't move it but he welcomed it as he tried to keep his breathing in control.

"Sherlock, it's okay you know? To be Asexual." Donovan said.

Sherlock looked up at her laughing. Not because what she said was funny. He was laughing through pure hysteria. "I'm not Asexual though, Sally." He said then wiped tears away that kept reforming. That was when he realised, no one was drunk it had just been a silly mood, he realised the only alcohol there was eggnog. He got up hastily and went into his room slamming the door shut behind him. He sunk to the floor by sliding down the door. He put his face in his hands. He vaguely heard John telling them to leave him alone and he was grateful that they listened to him. After a few minutes he calmed down and listened to their voices.

"So… Sherlock and you haven't then?" Anderson asked.

"Ha-ha. No. He's not interested in relationships he told me so when I first met him." He heard John reply.

"Yes well... I don't entirely think that that's true." Sally replied. Sherlock was now intrigued with what Sally thought.

"Well after that neither do I." John replied.

"I think... I think he likes you John. Not trying to put pressure on you or anything but... But I've never seen him look at anyone like that... That gaze. It's not a 'find everything out about this man in thirty seconds' look. It's a 'take everything in slowly, analyse carefully' and then it just turns into a hazy gaze. His eyes just transfix on you. It's not as creepy as I make it sound though." Lestrade explained.

"Yeah... I understand I do but I can't just make a move on him... He might not like me like that and I'm not prepared to make our friendship break. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person he can talk to properly and he hardly even does that. I need to make sure he knows he can trust me." He heard John say back.

He looked at his watch then realised he had to leave... Ten to midnight he opened the door quickly with a bang then went into the living room and grabbed his coat and scarf. "I'll be back." He muttered before running down the stairs.

"Lestrade? Is it a danger day?" John asked turning to Lestrade.

"Mycroft hasn't told me about one being at Christmas..." Lestrade said.

"You, take care of the place please? I'm going to follow him." John asked.

"Of course John. But I think we'll leave when Mrs Hudson gets back." Lestrade said and John nodded. He ran out.

He was quick enough to see Sherlock turn the corner at the end of the street. He chased after him. After a few minutes he got to the grave yard, this was when he'd decided he'd followed either the wrong person or gone the wrong way but just as he was about to leave he heard someone (Sherlock) say  
"Merry Christmas Shannon. I miss you a lot."

John turned back around and looked through the fence and sure as anything, Sherlock sat crossed legged in the snow with his head resting against the stone and talking. He'd clearly brought flowers there. John slowly followed Sherlock inside the gate and quietly walked up. Sherlock was most definitely crying but not loudly, it was subtle tears and a slight crack in his voice. He was talking to the grave stone like it was someone he loved dearly. John edged forward so he could hear Sherlock's words.

"I've not been here for a while but this year, this year I got here on time. I got here at Christmas, at the time-the time you passed on..." He heard Sherlock sniff. "But, you're still here with me. Here." He touched his chest "in my heart. You are part of me... I'm so sorry-so sorry for what I saw happen, for what I let happen... I stop crime now... I catch murderers... Like I told you the other month but... Yeah, I know I keep repeating myself but it's all I can do to make myself believe that I'm doing good... My friend John. He nice, you would've liked him, he would've liked you. You probably would've gotten him; he likes women more than men... But well I couldn't exactly call myself 'good-looking' now could I? Well... Merry Christmas... Mycroft still thinks I'm stupid for doing this... But, I loved you. I love you; you were my only sister... And it's hard... So hard without you." That was when John saw Sherlock put his face to his hands and started sobbing. As soon as John saw this he couldn't refrain himself for any longer he rushed over to Sherlock and wrapped his arm around his shoulders. He sat next to him on the ground and pulled Sherlock so he was crying into his neck. While John was rubbing Sherlock's arm he read the gravestone.  
'Shannon Holmes, Age-16  
Beloved daughter, sister, twin, girlfriend.  
Gone but not forgotten.'

"John, why are you here?" Sherlock asked moving his head out of John's neck.

"You scared me Sherlock. We were scared for if it was one of your danger days and I followed you here... I'm sorry..."

"Yes...erm... Why are you sorry?" Sherlock asked wiping his eyes.

"I didn't exactly respect your privacy, I'm sorry about your... Sister?"

"Tw-twin" Sherlock said with his voice cracking again.

"Heyy, shh. It's okay. I'm here. I got you." John said pulling Sherlock closer, into a warm hug.

"I'm sorry John." Sherlock said into John's jumper.

"What for?" John asked still in his kind voice.

"For everything. I... I could have saved her y'know? I could have... I'm sorry for making you come with me to Baker Street, I've hurt you so many times... I'm sorry for not telling you that I am in fact not straight, Asexual or Bi... I'm sorry if I just made everything awkward and I'm sorry... Just- just so... So sorry." Sherlock's grip, on John, loosened but Johns tightened. He pulled Sherlock nearer.

"Hey, you know what? It's not made anything awkward. You wanna know why? Well I'll tell you. 'Cause I'm Bi and it doesn't matter to me what gender preference you have. I do not accept your apology because you have nothing to apologise for now please... For Christ sakes look at me?" John said. Sherlock pulled his face from John's neck.

"Shannon's dead though, because I didn't save her... She was so pretty John... You would've loved her." Sherlock replaced John's neck with his hands but began to sob into them which was something he wouldn't do into John's neck.

"But... But..." John breathed in and out deeply bringing up the courage to tell Sherlock... "But I don't want to love her... I already love a Holmes... I love you."


End file.
